Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Love Lost

Love was lost and my pain ran deep.  My white satin gown would not be worn.  Unloved and unwanted I wept over a wedding cancelled.  

Love and trust in my heart toward God were replaced with anger and fear.  Who is this dangerous God?  Why did he let me fall in love with a man who would revoke his affection for me?  God’s heart toward me couldn’t possibly be good. 

The weight of the nothingness that surrounded me was unbearable.  I couldn’t convince myself of the truth.  I had no faith of my own.  I was blind and I couldn’t believe God liked me. 

But then, Christ.  

No, He didn’t take away my pain and he certainly didn’t make me happy.  Instead, Christ Jesus wept with me and in His weeping, prayed the words I couldn’t pray.  He taught me to flee from myself--to run away from my faith and to be embraced by Him that He might share His faith with me.  

For Jesus had already entered into my blindness.  He had already felt the full weight of rejection and suffered the pain of wondering if His Father had left Him alone.  And from the middle of my blindness and confusion, Christ Jesus believed God.  In my flesh, Jesus commended Himself into the loving arms of His Father.  

Having had faith in my darkness, Jesus shared Himself with me.  And in tangible ways, no less!  What my mind doubted, my mouth tasted in bread and wine.  When my faith faltered, Jesus let my fingers feel Him giving Himself as I tore bread from the loaf.   

In the midst of nothingness, I lacked no good thing.  Possessing nothing, I had everything.  Christ withheld none of Himself from me.  While I continued weeping, Christ continued sharing His vision of the Father with me.  

And so we weep.  
And we taste His goodness in our weeping.  
And we rejoice for Christ Jesus will not cancel The Wedding.  
He will marry His Bride. 
And every sad thing will be untrue. 

And all things will be recreated.  

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